


Conversations Trapped In A Prison Of Our Own Making

by BabyPom



Series: On The Ship [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-03 02:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13331814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyPom/pseuds/BabyPom
Summary: Lapis and Jasper had a lot of time to talk and resent each other trapped under the ocean.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I found this on the same word document as the previous work in this series, but although I think they're supposed to be in the same universe, this does work as a standalone piece!

For the first days trapped at the bottom of the ocean, all they did was scream unintelligibly at each other- in anger, in frustration, in confusion, in fear. They rarely even understood what they were saying themselves, but fused they received electrical shocks of the emotions that these screams were trying to convey. 

Eventually these screams decreased into muttering. There wasn’t any light coming through from the top- they were at the bottom of the ocean after all, far past the twilight zone, their only light from small things that were swimming around as if in curiosity.

“They’re called fish,” Lapis broke the long silence. She had been feeling the confusion and curiosity from Jasper in concern with them.

“Took you long enough to acknowledge me, traitor,” Jasper growled, and the chains on their wrists tightened in response to the aggression, and Malachite screamed in pain until they loosened to a tolerable amount again.

Jasper laughed, a bitter laugh that wasn’t fully her own when it emerged from their shared mouth. Lapis could try and punish Jasper as much as she liked, but she’d have to do that via Malachite- which would pain them both equally. Still, she expected to win the battle of wills in the long run, as she considered Lapis was a broken gem, an old outdated defective gem.

“I’m not defective.”

Malachite rolled three of her eyes. “There’s more than one definition of defective, unless you forgot that in the mirror too.”

“I’m not the brainless foot soldier.”

“I’m not the one who doesn’t understand definitions. You may not agree that you have a defect or flaw, but you dragged your superior officer down, you-”

Malachite spoke, “betrayed my homeworld representative, that is defection. You defected from homeworld, I’m defective.” a voice that was both realisation and mocking at once. Malachite, previously sitting as upright as she could, collapsed face forward into the mud on the sea bed, and started to cry tears of brine.

Jasper couldn’t help crying too. Neither of them mentioned the tears later on, but then again, they tried to ignore the person they shared a body with, preferring that she wallowed in her shared misery and malcontent alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Their thoughts had been half-audible to each other for a while, it had only being getting stronger, and although most of the time, they were still unintelligible apart from the occasional time such as before their last conversation, Jasper worried sometimes if she’d lose her sanity like Lapis obviously had. So she directed a thought towards Lapis, just to see if maybe Lapis would hear this time as well, ‘do you hate me?’

Jasper felt a ripple in the water around the single arm that she currently was in control of, and a smirk worked it’s way onto their shared face, which she supposed would be in quite a contrast with the look that their eyes would be giving.

She could feel Lapis fumbling around for a few seconds mentally, and then Lapis fought back control of their mouth, “How did you do that?!” she demanded, “Stay out of my head!”

‘Relax, Lazuli, it’s both of our heads anyway, but answer my question, and I’ll tell you.’

“Of course I don’t hate you, Jasper, I only hate the crystal gems.”

‘Then why did you betray me instead of them.’

“I love Steven. I love him more than I hate them. And I had to protect him from you, Jasper. Now tell me how you did it.” 

‘Now why would I do that.’ Jasper went silent, refusing to answer no matter how much Lapis howled out into the ocean.


	3. Chapter 3

A storm raged above. Malachite could feel it through the water, she could feel everything that happened in the water to a degree. The storm raged above, and lightning struck the water. Malachite howled in pain although it never really touched her in anyway. By focusing on the water at the point the lightning struck, she felt all that it felt.

Malachite pulled in on herself, trying to get into a fetal position but failing horribly because she had too many arms and no legs and was bound by chains.

She fell apart into we, and Jasper was angry at everything from the sky to herself at their shared weakness. Lapis on the other hand concentrated back on the storm up above, if she felt the lightning then at least she would be feeling something other than determination and hatred, and maybe jasper would feel it too.

 

Jasper was half asleep. It wasn’t something she was proud of knowing how to do, but hey, it passed the time. 

She wasn’t fully asleep though. It was getting harder and harder, as no matter how much she wanted to, there was always Lapis. As long as Lapis was fully awake, she had to be at least a little bit too. Once upon a time Lapis humoured by them taking a short nap together, but no more. Lapis was too spiteful to fully allow Jasper this little piece of luxury in this prison of their making. Malachite stared out, counting the fish as they went by, but she had two reasons for counting. Lapis counted constantly nowadays, trying to keep a record mentally of all the fish around them as if it was the only thing that mattered in the world. Jasper counted to try and sleep although she knew it would never work.

It was weird though, because when they were like this, Malachite’s own voice came out and Malachite’s voice was in itself childlike, curious, as if she wasn’t a creature made of hate trapped under the sea forever, but instead as if she was an innocent.


	4. Chapter 4

Jasper’s headache was starting to get worse, and she could swear that she was starting to hear things, whispers saying horrible things, about her diamond, pink diamond and slowly getting stronger and stronger. She didn’t want to let Lapis know that she was slowly going insane, so she tried to ignore it but that just made them more determined.

She tried to look down at her nose, see if she was actually cracking, if she was going to slowly shatter into pieces, but she couldn’t get cross eyed enough to actually see, and Yellow Diamond knows that she would never be able to shape shift a way to see it when they were like this together.

Eventually it got too much and Malachite screamed out, “Shut up shut up shut up!” Then Jasper winced. It sounded weak in Malachite’s voice than her own. Then she felt their mouth smirk, and Lapis spoke, in her mind ‘I was wondering if I was getting through or not’,

‘So you’ve figured it out then,”

“Of course I have” said Malachite.

“How about let’s agree to not talk to each other that way, I want to survive here without going insane for as long as possible.”

“How about no.” ‘I was trapped in that mirror before you were serving Yellow Diamond, before you served Pink Diamond, before you were even planted in the wall of beta kindergarten. I will survive this imprisonment until you have lost your mind, because I know I can survive without losing mine. All it is is a matter of waiting until you are insane and then I will be free and can return to see my Steven again.’

Malachite thoughts were confused. Lapis thought of Steven, Jasper thought of Rose Quartz. They both wanted the same person, but was it the same person or not? She was confused. She decided that if she met this Rose Steven, she would probably defeat them, but be nice about it.

Lapis and Jasper thought this idea of Malachite’s was stupid, but what did they know. After all, she was both of them.


	5. Chapter 5

Malachite was able to move slightly, and she was glad, so she walked along the ocean floor, hoping to reach a warmer part before she fell apart again and the chains would once again tighten and trap her.

She succeeded and only just in time, “not again,” she sighed, just before Jasper regained some control.

They had been fighting inside for a bit, and that had allowed malachite to do as she pleased briefly, but now their fight had reached the outside too. 

“It’s just I don’t understand how you could have betrayed me”

“Oh so it’s all about you now- Here I thought you were angry about me betraying your precious homeworld- I wonder how the Diamonds would feel knowing that you had placed yourself above them!”

“I didn’t mean it like that- you know I didn’t”

“Well it sure sounded like,-”

“I didn’t-”

“Your emotions sure made it feel like that-”

“Quiet, Defect.”

They could hear the water rushing around them, despite the stillness at this depth.

“Even if you didn’t betray me, surely you betrayed yourself.”

“What do you mean- How would I betray myself! I am all I have left!”

“We would have defeated the crystal gems together. We both hate them- you know that. You betrayed your hatred towards them. No wonder you’re so weak- you betray everything even your own feeling.”

Jasper waited for Lapis to reply, but there was none.

“Do you actually like them? Do you side with them? Why else would you betray homeworld? Do you hate the diamonds? Do you hate yourself? Do you-” Jasper shouted on and on, without interruption, volleying hundreds of questions over.

Eventually with no reply, she gave up. Lapis wouldn’t be listening anyway, so she was only weakening her own position in this fusion by continuing.

Except Lapis was listening. 

She heard every damned word.


End file.
